Here I am again, standing here knocking on Josh’s door. I know he’s home, but he just goes about his business acting as though I’m not even here. It’s hard to accept what’s happened with our relationship. We used to be so close, and I loved spending time with him. I know he loved me, too. We used to hang out together every day. He would share his most private thoughts and dreams with me — things he wouldn’t tell anyone else. Josh knew he could trust me. He told me that I knew him better than anyone else, and would often say that I knew him better than he knew himself. I suppose I did.

So, what happened? Josh, please open the door! He’s such a likeable guy — happy, easy-going, and he’d do anything for you. He truly has a servant’s heart, full of love and compassion. It all changed when Josh started making new friends. They didn’t have the same standards that I did, and they were ever so persuasive in convincing him that he could have more fun without me around. One friend of his, Mandy,  would completely ignore me, treating me like I didn’t even exist, and it didn’t even seem to bother him.

His apparent rejection hurt me terribly, but I won’t let it stop me. There have been too many people, especially his parents who have talked to me about him and asked me not to give up on him. They believe that our relationship can be restored; I believe so, too. That’s why I’ve come here again, knocking, hoping he’ll let me in this time so we can talk.

I think when I leave here, I’ll go down to his brother’s house. Eric’s a strange one. He always acknowledges me, but he wants to keep his distance. It’s like he’s too embarrassed or ashamed for anyone to see him with me. Yet, he’s very agreeable. If certain people ask, he’ll say he knows me, and if anyone suggests that he spend some time with me, he’ll always tell them he will. However, when it comes right down to it, He just won’t. I’ve knocked on his door many times, but he won’t give me the time of day.

It’s sad, because Eric could use a true friend right now. He’s got so many problems, and I know I could help him and make things easier for him — give him some hope and encouragement.  Somehow, though, he doesn’t think he needs me. Maybe, if I just try one more time, even if it’s out of desperation, he’ll let me in.

Josh, I’m still standing out here knocking. Please let me in.

I guess I should stop over at Dave’s today, too, and see how he’s really doing, even though he’s the kind of guy that only wants me around when he needs something from me. I’ll never forget how friendly and appreciative he was when he spent that time in prison, and I was there every day for him. He thought I was the greatest, back then.

It’s a shame, but since his release, Dave got so wrapped up in getting an education, getting a great job, and having a family, that I’m just not important to him anymore. He won’t even give me the time of day, let alone help me out with certain things I need help with — things that were meant for him to do.

Why isn’t Josh answering? I have so many gifts I want to give him that I know will help him fulfill his life’s destiny.

Maybe, I’ll just sit down with Holly this afternoon. She’s such a loyal friend. We go back a long ways. I feel good at her house; she makes me feel at home. She’s not at all like Samantha, who acts like we’re best friends and tells everyone so. Yet, her house is trashed — she has trash coming in, trash going out, and trash that just won’t leave. She’s really deceived if she thinks I want to hang out at her house in all of that filth. On the other hand, Holly may make mistakes sometimes, but she strives hard to make sure I’m comfortable. She keeps a clean house and tries hard to make sure I’m not offended in any way.

It’s sad, though, because I long to be even closer to Holly, but, in her past, she’s been hurt so badly by so many people that she’s built up walls around her heart — gigantic, thick walls. It’s been hard to convince her that these walls aren’t protecting her from further pain; rather, they’re keeping her from receiving and giving love, even my love.

I want her to know I’m not like that other dude who comes knocking at people’s doors. If you even open the door a crack and peek out while he’s standing there, he’ll shove that door open and force his way in. No, I’m a gentleman, and I want to make sure Holly knows it. Perhaps today, she’ll let me tiptoe into that most private, vulnerable place in her house.

Josh, where are you, man? Don’t you know how much I love you and want to be your friend? Please, let me in!

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.  (Revelation 3:20)